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Odysée Of The Empty Pen
My pen doesn't write.
I see the ink, but it is empty -
hysterical emptiness...
My thoughts won't come out!
I am stuck in ink.
The thoughts swirl, begging to be released,
threatning exothermic explosions
but trapped - not enough energy.
The process stops, uncontrolled -
energy alert!!!
But how do I get enough energy to release the
rainbows in my head -
floating, flying, crying in my head...?
Maybe flying colors can't be written with
a colorless pen...
boredom's cruel victory comes close -
very close... how do I stop it?
grey colorless black eats me -
I run and scream: The pen is dead!
What will I do?!
the pressure is high...
My head is full, but my pen is empty!
no hope will ever relieve my pain -
this neverending headache
that keeps me awake forever...
What should I do - what can I do?
Stop asking those questions!
This rythm in my head is driving me crazy -
insane
Well if the pen is useless...
HOW 'BOUT USING A CRAYON?
A two-minded poem
invented by Alessia and Sonja
copyright 1994
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| Two Poems |
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1.
I don't feel anything
I am empty
my heart is mute
no more butterflies
my stomach calmed down.
I came down from the
heights.
all of a sudden
the flight was over
I landed
back on steady ground
no more danger
but I landed in the desert
with no destination
where am I going?
what is my goal?
or am I just waiting
in the airport
for my connection
to paradise?
2.
coming down from the mountains
fast and sudden
like lightning.
it was the end of the day
the magical time between
life and death
twilight crawling up the beach
brutally and unstopable.
the wind is taking you
away from my side
blows you out
into the deep darkness of the city.
and I am standing alone on the beach
watching the waves in the storm
rolling desperately to reach land
falling back lonely.
I miss you.
and the storm gains force
it is wild
and I can't control it.
one tear rolls down my soul
as I think of you
the storm reminds me of you.
I laugh
I dance as it starts raining
softly slowing down the wind.
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A cyclus of three poems:
1.
THE END
it's over
finally -
I left everything.
now slowly realizing
while walking down
this neverending pathway
through the starring crowd
THAT I LEFT -
I am alone,
lost!
strange thoughts capture my mind,
fear crawls into my soul.
one year
seems like eternity
maybe it is eternity?
...reaching my seat,
I sit down.
I am looking out of the window
there!
on the terrace
waving hands -
they can't see me.
the distance is too far
already...
2.
a new start
the beginning was tough,
and it was hard to leave
the former warmth and safety,
to jump into the cold river of life -
with ist far away banks.
out there - far beyond your reach -
and the horizon is fleeing from you.
there are you -
thrown into this deep cold water
insecure and easily hurt,
with no ground
and no reliance than yourself.
there are you -
left
to find your own way
back to the sea,
while the water's dark melody is playing in your soul.
when the mists lie over the water,
the whole world vanishes
into one feeling of fear.
the shadows of the trees
out there grow darker and
gloomier.
3.
IN THE GROVE
sometimes
in a silent night,
you can hear nothing -
but the light whistling of the wind,
among the trees.
then
as you listen -
for a long time...
a short, quiet sound
may reach your ear,
lighter -
than the whispering of the trees.
can you hear it - ?
from time to time,
lonely and forgotten
-left!
in the gloomy grove out there.
did you ever -
try to find out
who cried out for your help,
out in the woods?
did you ever
go out to help somebody?
lost
in this dark labyrinth of trees
in the middle of mankind
needing you -
just you...
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snowfall
silence reigns the mountains
an occasional noise breaks the ban
crippled trees along its way
millions of crystals cover the land
a single colored quilt
shaping a new world until the sun
only shadows haunt the silence
death
in endless shades of white
the circle closes
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meeting you
grasping the air
words
stumble into hollow phrases
I fall, a tear
unnoticed
the ceiling circles my eyes cravingly
and world is a faraway place
- a touch
I stare at a face
meaningless now
my heart only feels
the empty pain
as you become grey laughter around me.
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Germanicum
sobald
ER hereinkommt und die
Tür schliesst -
hinter sich
(kein Entkommen), dann geht das
Chaos erst los - die Hölle.
RUHE
selten dringt ein
Laut, Wort an mein Ohr
- monotones Rauschen im Äther
störend.
falsche Frequenz ?!?
WAS KÖNNEN WIR DARAUS SCHLIESSEN
nichts oder gibt es
weniger ?
DU
ich habe einen Namen !!!
oft frage ich mich
- als einziger ? -
was soll das alles ? gibt es
Sinn - los-
gelöste, selbständige Philosophie
eigene, falsche Meinung
alles ist völlig über-
flüssig, flüssiger
DIE FORM IST UNBEKANNT
enervierende Präzision
Ich will nach Hause !!!
5 SILBEN BETONT
weg von hier
KAFKA
wozu?
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Erinnerung
Vor mir die verlassnen Gärten
- ein leerer Brunnen -
erinnernd an alte Zeiten.
Wo einst sprudelnd Wasser floß
- zu Zeiten höchsten Glücks -
wächst nun Moos.
Verhüllend des Marmors Risse,
deckt die alten Wunden zu.
Ende
irrend im labyrinth des lebens bis zum tod
nie den ausgang findend - eingesperrt
ein augenblick vergeht im nichts der ewigkeit
der tod geht vorüber, erlösend
Licht
grell reflektiertes Licht
grausame Helligkeit in den Augen brennend -
weiß
erhellt jeden Schatten
drinkt staubgleich in den letzten Winkel, in jedes Versteck
DU schließt mühsam die Augen,
doch immer noch spürst DU es - gleich körperlichem Schmerz
mit unendlichem GLeichklang
ohne Ende
es durchleuchtet DICH - DEIN Inneres legt es bloß
DU stehst
wie auf einer Plattform
völlig alleingelassen in der Einsamkeit
allen schonungslosen Blicken ausgesetzt, aller Neugier
die DICH verschlingt
wehrlos
und kein Ende bringt die Erlösung!
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Haikus
angst
düster und dunkel
ragt er über uns hinaus
beobachtet uns
entladung
drückend feuchte Luft
aufatmend erste Blitze
wohltuend Regen
abend
Sonnenuntergang
blutroter düstrer Himmel
versinkend im Nichts
morgen
leis - erste Strahlen
zeigen sich am Horizont
sacht kommt der Tag
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old house
the ruins of the old house
there on the hill
stand lonely and forgotten
stones are breaking and cracking
falling
falling
falling apart
lost in their history
burnt down
built up
destroyed
rebuilt
bombed
ruins smoking
still no memories
life left
a long time ago
birds and insects
animals
find their way
come back
once in a while
greeting shortly
speechless
meaningless
there is no sense, nothing left
on the hill than
PAST.
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Einsamkeit
Wind, fast Sturm
wühlt das Meer auf
weißsprühende Gischt
schäumt zwischen Felsen
Nebel verdeckt die Sicht
schluckt jeglichen Laut
jeder Schatten -
unendlich weit fort.
nach Hause
ich will nach Hause
durch die graue Tür ins Freie gehen
in den hellen Sonnenschein
aus der grauen Langeweile hinaus
aus dem Einerleilevel in die Freiheit
um zu singen um zu tanzen um zu schreien
aus dem Chaos ohne Sinn in die Grenzenlosigkeit
in die Grenzenlosigkeit der Welt da draussen
ich will nach Hause
nur weg von hier
von sabbelnder Monotonie verfolgt -
weg von hier
denn zu Hause ist es -
besser! besser -
von Sonja Pieper
uns Sebastian Sicheneder
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Conscious of Life
As days go down the river of eternity
I am standing at the shore, watching my life pass.
Dawn is long gone by I am still standing here
- on the banks of the world.
The sun has risen high, has torn the veil of clouds before my eyes.
Despite all wisdom I am still lingering
Afraid to let go of myself.
I am waiting, just like the rest of the crowd
While the winds mourn us,
And the cold air cuts through us, dividing me and you.
I believe to be different to protect myself,
I think I know better though
The looks that burn my false pride weaken me slowly.
My deeds have caught me in the neverending wheel of life,
Where fate is torturing me patiently
- from dawn to dusk.
At night dreams of you are haunting me,
Condemning me to sleepless mourning.
I should force myself, I know.
I should go out to seek the danger I am avoiding.
It isn't danger, it is the fear of NO.
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TOD
langsam fließt Schwarz ins Meer -
kalt und grausam wacht der Mond
über dem unendlichen Ozean
der wehrlos klagen muß
Tränen gefrieren eisblau
aus Tiefen aufsteigend, untergehend
ungekannt und ungesehen
umspült Trauer die sterbenden Felsen
einsam, drohend vor dem Himmel
erstickend in schwarzen Schatten
Zeit läßt Ewigkeit verstreichen
gequält ein letzter Todesschrei
aus dunklem Grab
- eine Warnung
ungehört im Nichts verhallend.
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America
you talk positive, you talk great
long hours, on and on
you are so good, no good; you couldn't hurt
any one.
you would never do THAT, so sensibel and considerate
that is you, you are perfect -
ionnist?
we fall for it and we love you.
how come you make me cry all the time?
you are so open-minded
open for all who come for your help
but you meet your quotas
you are so correct
that is protection of your cultural relations
we are all racists
struggling to please you
the surface is all you see, all you notice
you are so damn self-centered.
peacemaker of the world - nice title!
you enter every war making it worse.
can't say NO to yourself
mess around with everyone else'S affairs
you get enough attention when you mourn your dead
well they're gone, the problem
is still here!
you are so great and you know it.
you can accuse others of
suppressing democracy; they are anti-democractic
you are anti-everything
no war is as violent as you are
!
you pretend you know me and you make yourself believe
NOT ME. NOT.
you determine what I do. drug yourself with control
of my life
- so what
when I say NO.?
of course you
will have an answer
I can't stand criticism!
oh really?
positivism is negative and I care a
fucking shit
you congratulate everyone
but me.
to hell with it - I am so bad.
you do what you want, always
sometimes I am grown up, you treat me that way
I am still a child that is hurting when
you yell across the ocean of loneliness
I am so bad - but I am happy!
I can live that way -
just leave me alone.
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My friends
walking amongst a crowd of strangers
I dare notice a familiar face
a smile appears on my lips, saying hi
quietly
shy
aren't you gonna answer?
remember yesterday?
when we were friends. we talked. we were so close.
I trusted you.
today I find you were just using me
while I believed
in friendship
and a little selflessness
I am an idealist
you
are an opportunist
do we cancel each other?
I believe
you try hard
avoiding your own evil prophecies, are you?
the illness - I am afraid so - is incurable!
I would have done anything but the impossible
now you
committed treason
calling me a traitor, where you truly are
the hidden renegade
I pity you.
I try to - at least.
To save myself from being disappointed by
a flying mood once more.
trying not to hate.
get out of the circle!
it is my fault that things never change
people don't change
I should have known
well
then I will change
to other people
new friends
find new hope
I will find them.
loneliness is cruel and unnecessary
being just a peripheral asteroid in your spheres
I'll vanish in a black hole.
somewhere in eternity I will
disappear
amongst the crowd of strangers
until I see another familiar face
creeping towards me
to crush me under neglection
just until someone recognizes me
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Emptiness
Another day
Another hour
Alone
I am thinking
I am drinking
I cannot stop
Time
Goes By
So Evermore
- Slowly
You are my
Angel
Wake me up
From this
Night
From this Dream
That
I do not dream.
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